Stella's Profile

Mikey said that I needed to post a profile, but I told him I look best head on. That wasn't what he meant. (These authors are sure pushy people.) So here goes nothing. Stella was the first of 22 children born to the Dallas Family and the only girl. Do you have any idea at all how hard it was to keep my "whoo whoo" in tact with 21 brothers chasing you? My father was a coal miner but there wasn't a lot of that kind of work in Florida so he became an alligator wrestler and he practiced on mama. She liked the belly rubbing thing but she put up a better fight than the alligators, after my baby brother was born anyway. I joined the church choir and they said I had a powerful voice and asked me to sing solo, so low that the others could be heard. I do believe that was the beginning of my lip sync career. During high school, I made the football team, the soccer team and the softball team. Those boys wore me out. I married for the first time at age 16 to the town mayor. It lasted one night and he died the next day. A month later I married the new mayor with the same results. After 17 one night marriages, I decide to stay single (I just don't look that good covered in black). They all left me money, I may have been young but I knew what a prenup was. To this day many (evil people) still refer to me as the black widow.

My stage career started in Washington, D.C., on a dare. But once I saw everyone giving me the clap on stage, well I knew this is what I was born to do. The men went wild and of course the women hated me for my looks and charm. If they think it is hard for them to be women, they should spend a night in my world. I have to re-arrange the plumming before I can do anything and then have to be able to sit on IT. And forget about trying to take a pee without help. I tried once with those nails and was pissing in six different directions. And I think drag queens are the only people that still wear stockings. The wig is like wearing a sauna cap. Can you do a cartwheel in pumps? I can. And when I do a split I don't stick to the floor from the suction.

I have been approached by the current administration, although I can't say who without killing you afterwards, to go to Guontonamo Bay to take over the question the prisoners. And as much fun as that sounds, and trust me I could get them to talk, Mikey needs me to help him with this election.

I hope that is enough information, without bein too much, but if you have any questions, please leave them in the comments section and I will answer them here. I have had some questions about my famous knee pads and have though of having some made that say Mikey for President, but you would only be able to read them while I am standing. And those quarters are starting to add up. Just went over the $100.00 thanks to that nice reverend that stops by from time to time.

Love y'all,
Stella, Future First Lady