Okay, the Bitch is back.  Spent a lot of time visiting all of the military installations  around the county.  The USO would not sanction my tour but I did leave a lot of smiles on faces that Ajax won't take off.  Met a lot of great guys but none of them were able to drink the Stella under the table, but each base/post was one hell of a party.

This is supposed to be a cooking show so lets get too it.  EXTRACTS- you have to get them and there are so many uses.  I love cherry diet coke but sometimes the store doesn't have them.  Just a couple of drops of cherry extract and you are off and running.  Just about any of the flavors can be used to make different flavored icing.  There are different companies that make them and I must say (unpaid endorsed I might add) is Watkins.  I find them to be stronger, cheaper and longer lasting but buy what you want/  Most people already have Vanilla and maybe Almond and those are great but you need to add at least a couple of others, Cherry; Raspberry; Pineapple and Chocolate.  If you drink iced tea (or even hot tea), a couple of drops of any of these (maybe not Chocolate so much) will give you an exciting flavor boost.  I use an eyedropper so as not to waste or make a drink too potent, you might want to pick up one at the drug store or look at the dollar store in your area.

Easter is coming up soon so I'll put together some suggestions for that in my next post.  Glad to be back with you again,  Stella

CARS POWERED BY NATURAL GAS????

Okay, I know about the price of gasoline and the war on oil, but NATURAL GAS? They better make them air-tight and the a/c can't blow off of the engine or the defroster for that matter. And how do you get the gas out of you and into the car? Maybe we can just throw cabbage, beans and broccoli into the tank and it will make it's own gas. Or maybe they install a bucket under the drivers seat with a hose that goes to the engine. But can you imagine what the air will be like for those who have to walk or ride motorcycles. And for Pete's sake, don't try to light a cigarette out of doors or you might just blow up the place. I was talking with my sister an she said that she cooks with natural gas in her trailer. She might actually be a good cook if she used electricity but right now everything she cooks taste like...well she is still my sister so I shouldn't judge.

There must be some other solution to our power problem without stinking up the world. Maybe I could put a kid on the roof with a beanie on his head and get wind power. Then again, after what Romney did to his dog, maybe not. I'll have to think on this some more and get back at ya.
Stella

A COUPLE OF KITCHEN TRICKS...

Not those kinds of tricks, I would have to change the rating if I told you about those. I'll save those for Diary of a mad drag queen. No practical advice to help you and maybe others at the same time. Oprah has assured me that even if you are not using your kitchen appliances at this minute, they are still drawing energy, that we pay for. So I unplug them when not in use. Okay, that was easy, except my coffee pot and electric can opener both have black cords and I am forever plugging in the can opener and wondering why the coffee is not brewing. The light in my brain went on! All of those bread twists that I have been hording now have a function. Wrap one around (not under) the plug on the one you use the most and TADAA. Sure I could use even less energy if I used that hand job (no pun intended) but why take a chance on breaking or chipping a nail???
And speaking of can openers, please take the following seriously. After opening a can and emptying the contents, put the lid in the can and then squeeze the top closed to keep the lid in the can. One night I kicked a trash bag (get real it was an accident) and a lid cut thru my pantyhose and cut my toe. Anyone caring the bag to the curb could be in danger, the trash man and anyone that walks around the trash dump, including hungry animals, could be hurt and it only takes a minute to be safe. Auntie Stella

SHOULD I RUN FOR PRESIDENT??????

During the last election I was going to support Mikey's bid for president but all he did was mess around with the secret service and Obama won. But now I'm thinking that it might be Stella's turn for several reasons. First off if Palin and Bachman have done it how hard could it possibly be? Plus there are all of those hot guys out there on the campaign trail. My heart will always belong to Luke Perry but that cowboy Perry looks like he might be a fun ride, if he can hold on for the whole ride, LOL. And I don't actually expect to win but Palin taught me that I could buy lots of new clothes with the campaign funding and shoes and bags of course. Plus, at the end of it all I can get some sweet book deals, hell even the witch who isn't a witch is out there now plugging her book (Christine O'Donnell-really, that nitwit can write??)

Of course I will have to help Mikey get his books published too so he doesn't come out with a tell all book. Not worried about my reputation mind you, but I would miss all of those blackmail payments that show up in the mail each month. SO, I'm thinking.........

THIS IS ONE FASHION THAT I DON'T LIKE

Anyone who really knows Stella knows that she is an ASS MAN, I mean WOMAN, yeah Woman. This new style of wearing pants sagging is killing me and depriving me of the look of a nice butt here or there. But fear not, I have found a cure and maybe it will work for you also. First you must find a water pistol that looks real and fill it with half water and half vinegar (like you do when you are training a cat). Then walk down the sidewalk and especially watch for the ones holding their pants up with their hands. Squirt them in the face with the solution that will only sting and not hurt them and when their pants fall use your cell phone to snap a picture and email it to all of your friends, including me. Then run like hell. His pants are down so you have a head start. Your heart will be racing and the rush of it all will keep your heart pumping great for a couple of days. Maybe by doing this we can make them start wearing belts and we will have done our job to make America pretty once again. Also, Walmart is a fun place to do this and to collect other fashion sloppy pictures. Squirt them just for the hell of it.
Okay, back to working on my book.
Stella

DREAMING ABOUT LUKE PERRY AGAIN, WHEW

Now that's the kind of dream that you just don't want to wake up from. As I've said before, I don't know if he is gay or not but for the purpose of dreams it doesn't matter. Last night were in that program "Jeremiah" it's one of those apocalyptic shows on the SYFY channel. I went blind but I still knew when he was around because I heard his voice. Having known him before I lost my sight I knew what he looked like so being with him again I could see him in my minds eye. But he wouldn't stop until he found a cure to restore my sight! My hero once again. The shame is that I woke up while thanking him and couldn't get back to sleep. To sleep perchance to...

Sometimes when I dream about him we are a team on several levels, I write movies for him or when he gets scripts from other people I'm there to help beef up his lines to give him a better shot at winning an Oscar. The dreams about him are the best for me, thinking maybe I knew him in another life or something because it sure as hell hasn't happened in this lifetime, yet.

A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE WITH STELLA DALLAS

Well Dear Fans, I have to tell you that the slacker who promised NANO that he would write 50,000 words during the month of November and only wound up with 20,022. He has promised that he will continue to write until his novel about me is in pristine shape and that he will be able to tell the world about me and make tons of money for the two of us. Question? Is 1% actually a good thing for me? He assures me that it is fair since all I have to do is talk about myself and I love doing that so maybe he's right. But I need some new clothes and it cost money to cover this lovely body of mine. Working the streets with sequined knee pads isn't cheap and it's depleting my income but then again they do get me noticed on the streets. Do you have any idea at all how uncomfortable they are to kneel in, it was bad enough having to sit on them. Any way, he says that he was sick and what with the holidays coming up he may not get back to the book until after them. This coming from a person who says his favorite Christmas carol is "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" doesn't really sound like he has the spirit. But he did get a good start on the book, lordy did he ask a lot of questions. But it was fun dredging up the past and remembering all of the fun things I have been accused of doing, LOL.
Stella