THINKING ABOUT MY FUTURE

Dear Adoring Fans; Been out of the loop taking care of Mikey for awhile, he has been under the weather lately. And this got me to thinking, yes there is a brain under this redneck red hair. What if he decides to drop out of the race and throw his support to someone else? I don't get to be first lady and that is not sitting well with me. The only candidate I would even think of shacking up with is John Edwards and he is married. Then it dawned on me, Hillery is going to need a first lady. I can't piture Bill Jeff in a dress, unless he was trying to get into mine and I would help him.

Rumor has it that Hillery might actually be playing for our team and that would mean she wouldn't require sex from me and that would just about be great. But I will have to insist on picking my own secret service guys (and believe me, there will be some secrets to tell). I really want Mikey to see this thing all the way thru, but just in case. Any thoughts on the subject?
Stella

WELL, AT LEAST IN ST. PETERSBURG, FL, WE HAVE THE IRISH VOTE

Mikey doesn't like to go out drinking on St. Patrick's day/night, he calls it amatuer drinking. So, I put on my Colleen the Irish maid outfit, with the Shamrock shaped knee pads (I have them for every occasion) and I set out for the bars. When you drink Irish coffee it does crazy things to your body, caffeine and booze don't mix. But it kept me up all night (so to speak) and we sang Irish songs by the piano at one bar (actually I was under the piano) then I hit some of the other bars around town. Lesbians were falling in love with me, and I had the leather men on their knees praying to be wipped. (Who knew that could be so much fun?) And then there were the preppy bars. They were not sure what to make of Miss Stella, but I managed to convince them that Mikey was the best candidate out there. One person, a very inteligent man I must admit, said that if Bill Clinton had met me instead of Hillery and or Monica, he would still be president. It is hard to argue with that kind of logic.

April Fools day is just around the corner and I have been making a list of tricks. But Mikey says that you are suposed to pull pranks, not tricks. No wonder he sleeps alone. I have a couple of shout outs to do here. Jen, bring Ker up to date, this date, and let him really take a walk on the wild side. Don't let him go to Dorothy, he would kill her, he needs a real wild woman, someone like Stella that can teach him a few new tricks. And Sandy, about those bookings? Not to worry, I will give Nigel back when I am finished with him, and his brother. And I can do a little mind control on my own so you need not worry for my sake. I also keep a bottle of garlic powder in my purse. Babs, June is not that far away and we need to help the Grads and the Dads celibraite and drum up some more votes for Mikey. Are you down for that girl. Gussy up and bring the firewater.
Love you all,
Stella
p.s. Grandma Jeni, you are being awfully quiet these days, what is up with that, Don't let Stella scare you off, I will be going back to DC soon.

WHY WOULD ST. PATRICK CHASE THE SNAKES AWAY?

Those poor snakes, especially the one eyed variety, driven out of Ireland. Thankfully, many of these found their way to the USA and Florida especially. Stella likes the Irish boys (18+ so they can vote). Got some comments and questions to discuss. Katie (must be Irish), sorry that I haven't had the chance to read you story line yet, but as for me, I never found myself in a situation that I couldn't blow my way out of. Not that I really tried, mind you and the real reason tha shaws were invented was to keep the knees dry and comfortable. And while I'm not quite sure what you mean by too far or too much, well there are some things that you just can't have too much of, chocolate, money and men come to mind right away. And I will let a man know if he tries too far (at that particular moment). Hope that helped.

Jen, Be nice to Dorothy. I have gotten to know her better with our plans to go cross country together. Turns out we like different kinds of guys so we are cool. And if she wants that old Irish Duke, I say go for it. He is kinda hot, but actually a little old for me. I don't understand why Lorcan is his second, I would make him my first (lol). And it is not that you are really a bad influence on Mikey, but it seems that he just doesn't want to go out of the house and chasing the men like he used to do. Once upon a time he has so many notches on his belt that he had to get a new one. Men used to chase him like he had money falling out of his pockets. Good looking men. Now all he wants to do is write. The story of his life will have to wait though, mine comes first. Then I will write my memories of my days (and nights) as the first lady. Stella

PICKING A PARTY

Mikey left me a note telling me that we have to pick a party affiliation and he wants to something different than the usual Democratic, Republican and Independent Parties. Well hell, I'm up for almost anykind of party as long as there are a lot of hot men there. But then I figured out what he ment (boring). He says that he is thinking of starting "THE WRITERS PARTY" and now we just need some slogans to go along with it and he asks that you give him any ideas that you might have. Okay, think about it because all I can think about is my inaugural ball gown. Mr. President here says that red is only for bullfighters and whores. I am sure that there is a point there that I am missing. And shoes, Omar might be able to make the gown, but where the hell am I going to get shoes? The feet we share swell up like crazy. Mikey says that keeping my legs in the air will bring the swelling down, like I didn't know that, but what about my feet? I guess I could pack them in ice.

I have been thinking about the rose garden. Can't we just have flowers delivered and plant vegetables out there? That would be great and we could feed the poor when they come to visit the White (I mean Lavender) House tours. Do they make bib overalls in red I wonder. And a big straw hat. Mikey and I haven't discussed that much, but he was trying to 86 it from my agenda. And some chicken coops so that we could have fresh eggs every morning, some hogs so that the bacon and sausage would be fresh. Mikey is a really great cook, some of you have heard him talk about that and for sure, he didn't get that fat by accident.

Get thinking about a slogan for his Writers Party and let me know and I will pass them on to him when he wakes up from his headaches. Stella, future First Lady

Mikey for President, Stella for First Lady

Okay, Mikey and I have been talking (yes, it is possible in the wonderful world of schizophrenia), and he has decided to put out feelers, no not that kind, for a possible run for the White House (which he wants to paint lavender and have the Rainbow Flag flying under the American flag). What the hell, everyone else seems to be running and he couldn't possibly do any worse than W. In fact, he has been making a lot of sense (and that is just not like him as those who know and love him already know). His goals are not that far fetched, like whirled peas I think that is what he said but I did have a few cocktails and it might have been world peace. Whatever! So long as I get to be the First Lady or should I say, the First Queen (openly that is). Trust me when I tell you that the parties at the White (?) House will never be the same. He can handle the politics, honestly they bore me, but the parties are mine. I have already started planning and the guest list is going to be a gas. Elton may be the queen of England, but he ain't seen nothing yet.

Meanwhile, he is trying to pick out his cabinet (like there aren't enough cabinets in that place). They will all be there. His wish list includes: Rosey O'Donnell as his Home Land Security Secretary; Ellen DeGenerous as his Secretary of Defense (I wouln't want to get in her way, would you?); Secretary of the Treasury would have to be Oprah Winfrey, she keeps giving money away and is still richer than rich and the list just goes on. I would much rather go back to planning the parties. Red dresses in every shade and black pumps to die for. At his request, the furs will be fake but they better look real. This could be a fun next couple of years. Personally, I can't wait to hit the campaign trail, New York; San Francisco; Miami; Dallas; Los Angeles and Atlanta, get ready, Mike and Stella are on their way.