SHOULD I RUN FOR PRESIDENT??????

During the last election I was going to support Mikey's bid for president but all he did was mess around with the secret service and Obama won. But now I'm thinking that it might be Stella's turn for several reasons. First off if Palin and Bachman have done it how hard could it possibly be? Plus there are all of those hot guys out there on the campaign trail. My heart will always belong to Luke Perry but that cowboy Perry looks like he might be a fun ride, if he can hold on for the whole ride, LOL. And I don't actually expect to win but Palin taught me that I could buy lots of new clothes with the campaign funding and shoes and bags of course. Plus, at the end of it all I can get some sweet book deals, hell even the witch who isn't a witch is out there now plugging her book (Christine O'Donnell-really, that nitwit can write??)

Of course I will have to help Mikey get his books published too so he doesn't come out with a tell all book. Not worried about my reputation mind you, but I would miss all of those blackmail payments that show up in the mail each month. SO, I'm thinking.........

NO DAY AT THE BEACH

Okay, so the other day I decided to take a trip to the beach. I live in St. Petersburg, Florida and the beach is just a hop, skip and a jump away and the more sun I get, the less make-up I have to wear and that makes life easier. I take the back roads because they're faster and less traveled but one cop had to be out there. I got pulled over and was asked for my license and registration. Well, there was one problem, I had the one made for me and I was dressed like Mikey. (It's just easier going to the beach, I'm sure that you understand. ) Right away he started getting hot under the collar, shame too because he was about 6'4", broad shoulders, small waist and blonde hair and blue eyes. Just my type. He said that the picture wasn't me and I assured him that it was only I had a lot more hair and make-up on at the time. Next he asked if I had been drinking and I said yes, diet Coke, see all of the empty cans on the floorboard. As he was looking he saw my 2 compartment medicine case marked am and pm and wanted to know what was in the case. I showed him that it was just my Xanax and Hydromorphone. He wanted to know if I just took one in the day time and the other at night. I told him no and he asked about the am/pm markings. I explained that one was for anger management and the other was for pain management. That was when he opened the door and told me to step out of the car.

He stood about 15 feet away from me and told me to walk straight towards him touching my nose with my index fingers one at a time. Well, I told him that I couldn't even think straight to begin with and in order to do as he instructed I needed a pair of pumps and he would have to put my BARBARA cd up loud. "So, are you trying to tell me that you are a drag queen?" He asked.
"I am a female illusionist," I corrected.
"Can you prove that?" He asked.
And I told him, "It would require you getting naked in the back seat of my car and be forewarned that from that point on the only donut that you will be interested in will be the one that you sit on."

I didn't make it to the beach that day or any day since, however, the big guy in blue and I have been seeing each other since. He's no Luke Perry or even a good substitute that can keep me on the phone for hours, but that long arm of the law is something that you have to experience first hand to really appreciate it.
Stella