SHOULD I RUN FOR PRESIDENT??????

During the last election I was going to support Mikey's bid for president but all he did was mess around with the secret service and Obama won. But now I'm thinking that it might be Stella's turn for several reasons. First off if Palin and Bachman have done it how hard could it possibly be? Plus there are all of those hot guys out there on the campaign trail. My heart will always belong to Luke Perry but that cowboy Perry looks like he might be a fun ride, if he can hold on for the whole ride, LOL. And I don't actually expect to win but Palin taught me that I could buy lots of new clothes with the campaign funding and shoes and bags of course. Plus, at the end of it all I can get some sweet book deals, hell even the witch who isn't a witch is out there now plugging her book (Christine O'Donnell-really, that nitwit can write??)

Of course I will have to help Mikey get his books published too so he doesn't come out with a tell all book. Not worried about my reputation mind you, but I would miss all of those blackmail payments that show up in the mail each month. SO, I'm thinking.........

DREAMING ABOUT LUKE PERRY AGAIN, WHEW

Now that's the kind of dream that you just don't want to wake up from. As I've said before, I don't know if he is gay or not but for the purpose of dreams it doesn't matter. Last night were in that program "Jeremiah" it's one of those apocalyptic shows on the SYFY channel. I went blind but I still knew when he was around because I heard his voice. Having known him before I lost my sight I knew what he looked like so being with him again I could see him in my minds eye. But he wouldn't stop until he found a cure to restore my sight! My hero once again. The shame is that I woke up while thanking him and couldn't get back to sleep. To sleep perchance to...

Sometimes when I dream about him we are a team on several levels, I write movies for him or when he gets scripts from other people I'm there to help beef up his lines to give him a better shot at winning an Oscar. The dreams about him are the best for me, thinking maybe I knew him in another life or something because it sure as hell hasn't happened in this lifetime, yet.

NO DAY AT THE BEACH

Okay, so the other day I decided to take a trip to the beach. I live in St. Petersburg, Florida and the beach is just a hop, skip and a jump away and the more sun I get, the less make-up I have to wear and that makes life easier. I take the back roads because they're faster and less traveled but one cop had to be out there. I got pulled over and was asked for my license and registration. Well, there was one problem, I had the one made for me and I was dressed like Mikey. (It's just easier going to the beach, I'm sure that you understand. ) Right away he started getting hot under the collar, shame too because he was about 6'4", broad shoulders, small waist and blonde hair and blue eyes. Just my type. He said that the picture wasn't me and I assured him that it was only I had a lot more hair and make-up on at the time. Next he asked if I had been drinking and I said yes, diet Coke, see all of the empty cans on the floorboard. As he was looking he saw my 2 compartment medicine case marked am and pm and wanted to know what was in the case. I showed him that it was just my Xanax and Hydromorphone. He wanted to know if I just took one in the day time and the other at night. I told him no and he asked about the am/pm markings. I explained that one was for anger management and the other was for pain management. That was when he opened the door and told me to step out of the car.

He stood about 15 feet away from me and told me to walk straight towards him touching my nose with my index fingers one at a time. Well, I told him that I couldn't even think straight to begin with and in order to do as he instructed I needed a pair of pumps and he would have to put my BARBARA cd up loud. "So, are you trying to tell me that you are a drag queen?" He asked.
"I am a female illusionist," I corrected.
"Can you prove that?" He asked.
And I told him, "It would require you getting naked in the back seat of my car and be forewarned that from that point on the only donut that you will be interested in will be the one that you sit on."

I didn't make it to the beach that day or any day since, however, the big guy in blue and I have been seeing each other since. He's no Luke Perry or even a good substitute that can keep me on the phone for hours, but that long arm of the law is something that you have to experience first hand to really appreciate it.
Stella

ARE YOU LUKE PERRY???

Ever since I mentioned thinking about all of the things that I would like to do to Luke Perry's body I keep getting phone calls of all hours of the day and night from someone claiming to be Luke. He wants me to tell him all of the things that I want to do to his body. It can't be him, his voice has a nasal quality to it, unless of course he's now Clariton Clear. That would be a sell out and I don't think that he would want to change. Unless it was for me of course.

But this guy is really becoming a nuisance, keeping me on the phone for hours at a time. Okay, I'll admit that I like the phone sex thing, you don't have to get all dressed up or even take a shower for that. So I just pretend that it really is him and I tell him all of the things that I want to do to him or have him to do to me. Just kinky stuff, nothing perverted. In case you don't know the difference, kinky is when you use a feather and perverted is when you use the whole chicken. Stella is a southern gal and knows how to properly fry up a chicken. I ain't no Aunt Bea but then again, she can't do all of the things that I know how to do so we're even.

If you don't see anything posted here for awhile you will know that I am either out with Luke or the make believe Luke. I had also had a thing for David Duchovny for awhile and entertained thoughts of snagging him but I saw his wife in a movie and I might have to fight her for him. But since she looks too tough I decided to let him go.

Red heads are fickle, that's a known fact, so check in later and see who I am stalking currently or for more news on the Luke project, LOL.

Stella

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE

Well it's that time of year again, the time when people ask "WHY DOES THE EASTER BUNNY HIDE HIS EGGS?" And Stella is here to give you the dirt. Its because he is screwing a chicken. I know, some of you are saying, "Stella, no, that can't be." But yes it's true, a very well kept secret until now, hell even the ones who make it past the egg stage are called "PEEPS".

My days of getting out there with the ankle biting rug rats are over. No more candy covered sticky fingers around my house. I don't do egg rolls (unless they come from the Chinese carry-out) and won't stoop for egg hunts. Actually, now that my girth has caught up with my age I don't stoop for anything anymore. Nope, when Easter comes along I go out and stock up on eggs and make more eggnog, lots and lots of eggnog. I use the one dozen egg/one gallon of rum recipe.

Then draw the drapes, lock all of the doors and put on my Perry Como records while I read the expose of Clark and Lois by Perry White and dream about all of the things I want to do to Luke Perry's body. Like he could keep up with me. Just because he was on OZ for awhile, doesn't mean he can keep up with the likes of me but I would be willing to give him a try. Just in case any of you out there know him, feel free to pass on the message.

So enjoy your day with the family, eat your green ham and colored eggs and think of me sitting in the living room in my lounger and wearing my Easter bonnet and getting snookered on eggnog.

Love, if you need it,
Stella