SHOULD I RUN FOR PRESIDENT??????

During the last election I was going to support Mikey's bid for president but all he did was mess around with the secret service and Obama won. But now I'm thinking that it might be Stella's turn for several reasons. First off if Palin and Bachman have done it how hard could it possibly be? Plus there are all of those hot guys out there on the campaign trail. My heart will always belong to Luke Perry but that cowboy Perry looks like he might be a fun ride, if he can hold on for the whole ride, LOL. And I don't actually expect to win but Palin taught me that I could buy lots of new clothes with the campaign funding and shoes and bags of course. Plus, at the end of it all I can get some sweet book deals, hell even the witch who isn't a witch is out there now plugging her book (Christine O'Donnell-really, that nitwit can write??)

Of course I will have to help Mikey get his books published too so he doesn't come out with a tell all book. Not worried about my reputation mind you, but I would miss all of those blackmail payments that show up in the mail each month. SO, I'm thinking.........

STELLA AND HER MEDICATIONS

Hi, Mikey here subbing for Stella. I spoke to her earlier today, they let her out of the straight jacket long enough to call. It seems that Ms. Stella doesn't like to take her psych medications and some times get a little bit crazy, this was not one of those times. After being off of her pills for 4 days, she got out her best red dress, nylons, shoes, and pill box hat with the red veil and then checked the obituaries and started hitting the funerals pretending to be a relative (and I mean that in the loosest of terms). She actually made it to 3 of them before becoming arrested. It seems that the wife had some not-so-nice things to say to out Stella and being the royal bitch that Stella can be prompted to be (we all know that she is not normally like that) told the wife that she was so glad that she kept all of the instant pictures and the home movies that they had made from all of those hotel rooms. The woman went off the wall and started calling Stella a slew of nasty names and so she fought back the only way she knew how. She jumped up on the coffin and started screaming, "Come on Harry, one more time for old times sake". And that was when the police arrived. With any luck the family will understand about her medications but the wife will always wonder. Mikey

TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT PROTECTING IDENTITY

You know you keep hearing about it on TV, reading about it in the paper and now it's coming into your email box. Honestly, if someone can get credit using my credentials just tell me how and I will give it to you. Here is a kicker for you, my credit sucks. It takes a lot of money to be "The Stella". Lots and lots of make-up, wigs, finger nails and do you have a clue as to what it cost for good eyelashes? Anyway, someone was stupid enough to try and use me, not like that kitten I like that, but tried to get credit in my name and using their address and phone number. Guess what, now my bill collectors are calling and harassing them and leaving me alone. So let this be a lesson to all of you out there too lazy to get of your dead asses and start making money the old fashion way, the bill collectors may be after you next if the law doesn't catch you first. Then again, maybe you will MEAT up with the man of your dreams in the big house.

Okay, that's it for today, just thought you might enjoy a laugh.
Stella
p.s. GO HILLARY ALL THE WAY BACK TO 1600 PENSYLVANIA AVENUE

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE

Well it's that time of year again, the time when people ask "WHY DOES THE EASTER BUNNY HIDE HIS EGGS?" And Stella is here to give you the dirt. Its because he is screwing a chicken. I know, some of you are saying, "Stella, no, that can't be." But yes it's true, a very well kept secret until now, hell even the ones who make it past the egg stage are called "PEEPS".

My days of getting out there with the ankle biting rug rats are over. No more candy covered sticky fingers around my house. I don't do egg rolls (unless they come from the Chinese carry-out) and won't stoop for egg hunts. Actually, now that my girth has caught up with my age I don't stoop for anything anymore. Nope, when Easter comes along I go out and stock up on eggs and make more eggnog, lots and lots of eggnog. I use the one dozen egg/one gallon of rum recipe.

Then draw the drapes, lock all of the doors and put on my Perry Como records while I read the expose of Clark and Lois by Perry White and dream about all of the things I want to do to Luke Perry's body. Like he could keep up with me. Just because he was on OZ for awhile, doesn't mean he can keep up with the likes of me but I would be willing to give him a try. Just in case any of you out there know him, feel free to pass on the message.

So enjoy your day with the family, eat your green ham and colored eggs and think of me sitting in the living room in my lounger and wearing my Easter bonnet and getting snookered on eggnog.

Love, if you need it,
Stella